Living with a hoarder

3 years ago, in my mid 40's, I found myself once again living with my parents. Having left home at 18 years old this was something I never expected to happen and if I hadn't being going through a crisis at the time would have been horrified by the prospect.

There are many reasons to not want to live with either of them, but high among these is the fact that my mother is a hoarder. Being a hoarder is a mental illness where the afflicted is unable to discard or throw away items which they no longer need. For my mother this began in the early 80's, so was already affecting me when I was a child and teenager. Spaces gradually began to fill up, mostly with food packaging, bottles, cans, and newspapers. Piles and piles of newspapers. By the time I left home the dining table was almost completely covered several inches high, with only small spaces cleared with just enough room for a plate. The bathroom was no better. Great heaps of dirty clothes on the floor, with any available surfaces cluttered with used bottles, tooth paste tubes, used cotton buds and mounds of tissue.

I'm sure that it doesn't need to be explained that this is not a pleasant environment to live in. And the key thing to understand about hoarders is that not only will it get progressively worse, but to suggest to them that they should perhaps deal with the clutter or or try to remove it for yourself, is to invite the very worst kind of emotional abuse. One soon learns it is not worth mentioning to avoid the inevitable vicious retribution. Hoarders become angry and aggressive when confronted with reality.

Take a look at this:

The above is just a sample. Every time I have to go to the bathroom I am greeted by the site of that overflowing bath. Imagine that across your home.

The one time that I attempted to take out some rubbish I had my mother holding onto my coat sleeve with both hands, shrieking and screaming at me not to do it.

For me this situation is unbearable. I like order and tidiness and already have my own mental health issues to deal with without this.